Stages of Becoming: A Journey Through Erikson’s Lens
~ Book Launch March 2026 ~
It’s a Book about my life. I’m reflecting on my past and making sense of my present using the knowledge I’m gaining in graduate school while studying mental health counseling (Northwestern Class of 25’). Inspired by my favorite course, Human Growth & Development, and Erikson’s theory of developmental life stages, I explore how my experiences growing up as one of ten siblings in a diverse, multicultural family shaped my journey. Navigating life with a unique blend of chaos and connection, I embark on a deeply personal journey to understand the forces—family, school, friends, work, marriage, divorce, community, society—that have shaped my identity, values, relationships, and my pivot from HR executive to becoming a licensed therapist.
From childhood struggles with dyslexia, abuse, and the quest for autonomy, to the search for intimacy and purpose, I revisit pivotal moments in my life. In doing so, I unpack how growing up in a large, diverse family shaped my understanding of self, love, and belonging. This introspective life story offers a fresh perspective on how we continue to grow and evolve, regardless of age. It highlights the importance of reflecting on our childhood and life with compassion and honesty to better understand how we arrived at the present and how we want to move forward. Stages of Becoming is an exploration of family, identity, inclusion and the ongoing quest for meaning in life.
Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development outlines eight stages that individuals pass through over the course of their lives. Each stage presents a unique conflict or crisis that must be resolved to develop a healthy personality. Erikson believed that resolving these conflicts positively at each stage allows individuals to develop strengths that help them navigate future stages and challenges. However, unresolved conflicts may influence how a person handles future challenges and relationships, potentially leading to psychological issues or an incomplete sense of self. Here's a brief outline of each chapter (stage) through the lens of Erikson’s human development life stages.
Chapter 1: Trust vs Mistrust
1976-1977
Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust (Infancy, 0-1 year) The first stage determines if infants can trust their caregivers to meet their needs. Success leads to trust and security; failure can result in mistrust, insecurity, fear, and difficulties forming healthy relationships later.
My first pic with my siblings, just a few hours old,1976
Chapter 2: Autonomy vs Shame & Doubt
1977-1979
Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (Toddlerhood, 1-3 years) Toddlers learn to exercise independence. Encouragement fosters autonomy, while over-criticism can result in doubt and shame.
The youngest, but not for long.1977
Chapter 3: Initiative vs Guilt
1979-1982
Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt (Preschool, 3-6 years) Children begin to assert control and take initiative. Successfully balancing initiative with restraint leads to purpose, while excessive control can lead to guilt.
Welcome to Kindergarten, 1980 (2nd row, 3rd from left)
Chapter 4: Industry vs Inferiority
1982-1988
Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority (School Age, 6-12 years) Children develop a sense of competence through school and social interactions. Mastery of skills fosters a sense of industry, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.
4th grade, 1984
Chapter 5: Identity vs Role Confusion
1988-1994
Stage 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence, 12-18 years) Adolescents explore their identity, trying to figure out who they are. Successfully resolving this crisis leads to a strong sense of self, while failure can result in role confusion.
The Fly Girls Dance Group, High School 1991 (2nd from bottom left)
Chapter 6: Intimacy vs Isolation
1994-2016
Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adulthood, 18-40 years) In this stage, individuals seek deep, intimate relationships. Successful navigation leads to healthy relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation.
My wedding day, 2001. I was happily married at 25 yrs old and happily divorced at 45 yrs old.
Chapter 7: Generativity vs Stagnation
2016-2041
Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle Adulthood, 40-65 years) Adults focus on contributing to society and the next generation through work, family, or community involvement. Success leads to feelings of accomplishment, while failure results in stagnation.
CFDA Fashion Awards 2024
If Little Britta knew one day she’d be at the Fashion Awards…dreams do come true.
Epilogue: Integrity vs Despair
2041+
Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair (Late Adulthood, 65+ years) In the final stage, individuals reflect on their life. A sense of fulfillment leads to integrity, while regret results in despair. The goal of this stage is to achieve a sense of wisdom and acceptance, where individuals can look back on their lives with a sense of peace.
What’s your life story? How did your journey through your family dynamics shape you? How are you navigating life (and work) now?
My childhood marked a complex family dynamic, with shared experiences of chaos and connection. These formative experiences shaped my values, work style, and deep interest in ensuring that all individuals—whether in families, society or the workplace—are seen, supported, and acknowledged, regardless of whether they stand out for exceptional achievements or struggles. You can read more about what our family looked like in 1990 in Yale to Jail - Growing Up One of Ten Kids (somewhere in the middle) and how being in the middle made me an advocate for all.
Cover of Parade Magazine ~ May 12, 1996